The Bachelorette in Review

It’s Monday night, time for me to watch The Bachelorette and give my commentary on what's going down.

Oh and JP starts off the show whining about the other guys and how he has a special connection with her. Hello, she has that unbelievably connection with other guys too, don’t think your special. You’re just acting like so many other contestants before you and I’m sorry to say, the annoying kind.

Constantine is probably the smartest contestant I have ever seen on The Bachelorette. Seriously, it’s impressing me. He’s not talking all that mumbo jumbo about we have this strong connection, I’m falling in love, I want her all to myself. And I like how he speaks to her, like he really isn’t trying to impressing her. Like I’m pretty sure he just said ‘shit’ casually in a sentence like he would do in everyday life. Other guys on the show would probably try to cover that up, say a different word or apologize. I say say shit as much as you want if you do in real life, and if she doesn’t like that you say shit all the time, then she can send you packing.

Now she’s out with my other favourite, Ben. I like that Ben seems genuinely happy. I’m not sure what his romantic past has been like, but it seems like he’s been screwed. Aw, what a cute like eyebrow raise. Ben spent the night after his date and wow JP needs to settle down. This is what you signed up for. Constantine, Ames and Ryan are much calmer than you. Someone seems to be a very jealous guy, kind of unattractive.

Looking sexy in your one piece dress Lucas. Oh dear Jesus what has she made Ames wear? And JP gets to wear a suit, a suit he looks pretty good in. Hmm, this kind of seems like an awkward group date. To take wedding photos while your other two dates watch? Whose idea was this? JP is going to rip off Lucas dress and choke Ames with his tie. Haha Ames “I don’t think this is going so well”, you’ve hit the nail on the head there.

So you know the date isn’t going well, you feel the tension because there is a rose on this date, so what do you decide to do Ashley? Point out the rose like it isn’t already looming in the air.

It’s a dress Ashley, lets be serious. That’s one mighty long shirt. If it goes past your knees, it’s no longer a long shirt, it’s a dress.

Oh JP, you’re over analysing the way women normally do. Seriously!!! She is going to grab him the rose because he’s SO into her. I think she kind of felt bad for his shitty week. Think of the other guys Ashley before you give him the rose. I’m not sure how many you’re sending home this week, but if it’s more than one (ahem Ryan), JP would have been my next to go.  Well JP would have gone a while back if it was me.

I just realized that 3 of my initial favourites are still left and there are only 6 dudes . Maybe not, I just looked back and realized I haven’t put Constantine in My Favourites though I’ve been loving him since the beginning, hmmm, odd.

Her date with Ryan is boooorrriiinnng. I almost want to change to channel to So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I think Ryan will make you a great friend Ashley, but I can tell you that you aren’t attracted to him.

Wow Teen Wolf kind of pushing some boundaries there, eh? (commercial break)

I love that Ashley told Ryan out right that she wasn’t into him instead on leading him on because he was really looking forward to this date and he’s been talking about her meeting his family for a good chuck of date. Aw Ryan, there is definitely someone out there for you. Don’t give up on love. And someone will love you unconditionally too. I’m sure as I am watching this right now, you’re probably dating a very nice girl.

Oh, no cocktail party. Lucas is definitely going home. I think Constantine and Ben are safe. Ames is iffy but I think he has a better chance over Lucas. Lucas isn’t going to enjoy that they are not having a cocktail party, he was just going on about how he wanted to talk to her. Chatty now JP that you got your rose. You acted like a baby that whined until he got what he wanted.

Favourites: Ben, Constantine, Ames

Given Roses: JP, Constantine, Ben, Ames

Sent Packing: Ryan, Lucas (I definitely called that but I hope you find that person soon Lucas)

Don’t cry Ashley, like Lucas just said ‘no regrets’.

I didn’t watch the season that Brad was The Bachelor but Emily seems so torn up that they spilt. Brad broke her heart, it shows. I feel bad for her and I didn’t particularly like after when I watched the After the Rose special from last season.

Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition, bring on the tears.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’ll be in Portugal the next 3 weeks. I’m going to miss the rest of the season and I’m going to be in this little town I don’t even know if they’ll have internet. They probably don’t even have The Bachelorette, I know my Aunt’s tv doesn’t. Well see what I do.